Ottavia's Pain (Monologue)

''I am confused. I don't know what is the right thing to do. I want to come back home on one hand, but on the other no. I'm not strong enough to face the reality, to face my sister's death, to face my pain! I need an help, right now! I need someone who can say to me:'' Ottavia, don't worry, everything will be fine, you will take the right decision.'' But, what's the right decision? When you're young. When you're fifteen or sixteen years old you have no idea about how could be difficult live alone, in another country without any support . You're totally alone then, you're try to find a person who can help and support you and became your world, the light of your life, your refuge but after you discover that she isn't a good person then you're down, again. When we are teenagers, someone should teach us that if we change our mind after an important decision, we are not failing! The most important thing is our happiness and serenity. Then, comes everything else. We arrive at a point of our life, in which all we need is to find a balance, something that make us happy, satisfied and proud of ourselves. At eighteen or twenty years old, it isn't easy decide about our future, life, lover...sometimes, the decisions we made around 20 years old, are absolutely influential for the rest of the life and this is scary, because if we made the wrong decision? What happens next? How could we be sure about our decisions? It's so difficult. I made one of the most important decision of my life after my sister's death. Probably, this was one of the reasons why I decided to move to London, maybe to break with the past, to escape from my pain, my memories...I don't know...I think I am happy about this decision but...in this moment of my life I am unsure...I miss something that I am not able to identify...maybe is the security of my old life...'Time is a thief! Sometimes I would like to have the time machine used it to bring my sister back or to live certain moments again just once when I was a child and I used to spent afternoons at my grandma's home, watching cartoons and eating crepe with nutella. These are the kind of memories I never want to forget. Sometimes, it seems like I can almost feel the smells of her cooking, feel the serenity of these moments. Then of course everyone grows up, it's normal but sometimes being an adult sucks! The classic stereotypes is ''high school is the best time of your life'' or ''enjoy your adolescence because you will be 30 years old in short time'', or ''one day you're eighteen and the next you're forty years old''. You know what? I just want to say that, do what you wish without thinking too much about what is right or wrong. If you want to have an experience abroad do it! If after you want to come back to your country, because you are unsure, unhappy or you feel alone, then don't feel like you're failing! Because you are not failing! My decision to live in London, study and work here  was something that I really needed in a bad moment of my life...now maybe it is the moment to bring my old life back and move again in my city Berlin...I don't know. But...I just need more time, to think and try to decide. Otherwise I will follow my feelings, without thinking and thinking and... 

"Young adult"

Young Adult, a movie directed by Jason Reitman with Charlize Theron as Mavis Gary, Patton Oswalt as Matt Freehauf, Patrick Wilson as Buddy Slade, Elizabeth Reaser as Beth Slade,Collette Wolfe as Sandra Freehauf. Mavis is a nearly 40 years old author of a ended series of young adult novels. She lives as a teenager of the 90's but she is a depressed, alcoholic with a failed marriage who desires to live again her relationship with her high school flame. However, she drives her red Mini from Minneapolis to her hometown of Mercury to live again the past. When she arrived to Mercury, she met her old friends from high school and Buddy her old boyfriend, who is marry with two children. Mavis, attended Buddy's baby shower , and try to seduce Buddy without success. Another important character is interpreted by Patton Oswalt as Matt Freehauf, an ugly unpopular guy, who was in Mavis's High School. They spend together lots of time but Matt tries to convince Mavis that Buddy is happy and does not have the intention to leave his wife. Unfortunately, Mavis is more than sure about her plan to come back with him but she will fail. Buddy talk clearly to her saying that ''she was a better person than this''. In this moment she realise that she ha no reason to stay in her hometown and decided to come back in Minneapolis and start a new life leaving her past.
This film is absolutely great, the soundtrack the camera angle Charlize Theron as the main character create a movie full of power, since my favourite scene in the beginning when she drives to Mercury. A powerful scene that makes the audience dream about a the perfect car trip with the soundtrack of a magic moment. When I watched this film for the first time I was thrilled. I immediately loved Mavis character because she is sensitive, funny and represent the typical character that until the end of the movie I hope could be happy and finally change her life.

"Requiem for a Dream"

''Requiem for a dream'' a wonderful movie of the 2000 directed by Darren Aronofsky, with Jared Leto in the role of the main character Harry Goldfarb, Jennifer Connelly who is Harry's girlfriend Marion Silver, Te'Ron A. O'Neal Tyrone C.Love Harry's best friend and Ellen Burstyn Sara Goldfarb who is Harry's mother. They are trapped in a life full of delusion and desperation. Harry, Marion and Tyrone are drug addicted who just want to be happy having fun and always find out a way to get drugs. Sara Goldfarb, in the beginning seems just to be the typical old mother alone, who try to take care to her own son, also if she knows which kind of life he conducts. One day she received a call from her favourite TV game show and since this moment she start a diet pills to  lost weight and wear again her a ''red dress'' she wore when she was young. In this way she became addicted and begin a nightmare with hallucinations in which food is her enemy. Moreover, also the lives of the three friends who tried to do a business without success, became a sadness tunnel with no way out. The camera technique with rapid track, jump cuts, distorted images and split screen emphasize the excitement of the characters when they take drugs. The dubstep music with these shocked images underline their lives out of control, as in a ''rave party''.  This movie is strong enough to demonstrate how bad is doing this lifestyle, and how is difficult to escape from this bad dream. The most shocked story is about Harry's mother, Sara an old woman who created a parallel life where she is famous, young and happy, instead she lost her mind after the pills diet and she lost everything. Aronofosky portrays the mental illness of the characters in a perfect way. He want to underline how these people feeling their dream and how they would like to be. All of them just want to be happy! But they don't know how achieve happiness. This was a revolutionary movie about this sensitive topic, in which shocked scenes are used to draw the ''status'' of the characters but always with a particular sensibility.